Santana" - Type of people in HIGHSCHOOL 2nd post

This post will mainly be focused on the "Sports Nubs" category.

The Sport Nubs

Not all jocks are seen as 'cool' or 'popular'. Some are just plain asswipes that want to be up the top with the popular guys but obviously they are not, some people call them 'the Try Hards'. Here are some of the reasons why these assholes don’t qualify.

1. They are the rejects to the 'rep' teams in school
2. They are not as good looking
3. They are insecure about their small dicks (I'm not saying that jocks have big dicks, just that they are usually too brain damaged to realize)
4. They are not brain damaged enough
5. They are not disruptive enough in class
6. They are not ___________ ( you can fill this one in)

I laugh at these neglected people, they cant even make it into a category that sucks so much. Its like failing to fail. . .I do not even know how these people can suck so much. I think that they need to consider what this link suggests.

But hey, wait a minute, these guys failed to fail, so what pussy do they get? Not a problem, nature always kicks in with a system you cant go against- the food chain. They cant get the food at the top of the chain? Move down a notch to the 2nd grade girls.

But have you ever thought about how these girls are actually thinking the same thing as you are you thick head? This is probably what the girl was thinking just before the night that she sucked your dick when you asked her out.

"omg, I cnt gt my 'ins' with dat hott azzz guy. Omgsh! Wt am I gonna du? Oh w8 therz alwayez da 2nd grade guys owt der"

Yea loser, you just got used. Can we laugh now? Its so satisfying when you watch these guys hang out with their 2nd grade girls as 2nd grade people, they never think how their secret would be revealed. Would you still look at them and their new girlfriend in the same way as before?

Oh yea, and why the fuck do you always carry around that ________ (rugby, soccer, basket) ball of yours? Are you an asshole? I don’t have anything against people playing a sport, just go out there and play the game! What are you doing carrying that stupid ball of yours around? Is it to compensate for the small penis or the lack of self esteem you have because you are not in a 'rep' team? Ok great you have a basket ball, what else does that tell us jackass? Or are you actually trying to tell us you are one? Holding a ball doesn't make you any better at the game or improve your skills.

Just cut the bullshit and stop trying to be cool asshole.

Santana" - Types of people in HIGHSCHOOL

Hey guys I've always been pissed, actually excessively pissed over the hierarchy at my high school. I have always wondered whether other high schools are the same Please give me a comment after you have read my post to tell me if your high school is like that too.

If I had to put all the guys in my school into classes, here's what it would seem like.

[Nb: the top of the hierarchy obviously is the top of the food chain, there are also outliers that I fail to categorize into the social hierarchy, these are in a separate group at the end.]

For the guys :

-the Jocks

-the Sports nubs

-the Rich

-the "Good looking"

-the Average people

-the Randoms

-the Nerds

-the Book nerds

-SPECIAL NEEDS

Outliers:

-the Asians

- ^^ Me

Explanation and wider context to these social classes:

The Jocks, also known as The Sports Jocks

If you happen to be one of them and you are reading this site, then please click the 'x' on the top right of your browser. Turn off your computer then format your hard drive with a powerful fridge magnet. Oh wait, is that too much for you to handle? Well the translation of that is : FUCK OFF PLEASE

I get asked this question quite often. Do you not like high school jocks Santana" ?

Actually no, I quite like them. The make sure that my fast food gets delivered as soon as possible. Oh yea and they always pack my groceries for me when I go to the supermarket. Yea so overall they are quite helpful.

Well anyway, The Jocks. Everyone knows who they are, they are the faggots that play sport for a 'rep' team at school and everyone seems to be so fond of. I used to be a tennis player, I played for senior A team when I was only in junior school. But I never got acknowledged at all. My school never cared about tennis or any other sport that lied outside the domain of cricket, rugby, soccer, and hockey. What do those bastards want? Not like I did any less to contribute to the school's sport reputation as those guys did. Tennis players, swimmers, squash players, bikers and everyone else that don’t play those selected sports work so hard… to get neglected. No one gave a shit about us.

These Jocks are the faggots that get to get off class early and get all the pussy because they play ball all day just to get brain damage. Don’t they realize that NOBODY GIVES A SHIT about high school sports in the real world? What is "1st 15 Rugby team" going to tell an employer apart from the fact that you probably have brain damage and other serious life threatening conditions I call "dumbass" and "idiot".

Santana" why do these bitches get all the pussy at your school? Are the girls really fucked up?

Well yea, well said. Girls at my school have problems too, there are too many mudd girls at my school. Dunno what mud means? Visit this site to see a picture of an example of what the majority of girls at my school are like. [WARNING : contains offensive content. R18] The few fit girls at my school are either really snobby or . . . .actually I can go on about this one for ages. Wait for another post on this

Some of you must be thinking that I'm jelous and I'm just bullshitting because of that. But no!

High school Jocks think they are really cool but they do the fucking most dickless shit you will ever see just read my friend RSC's guest article to find out more.

These idiots just don’t get it.

Check my next article to read up on the second definition to my social hierarchy classification. Links will be posted soon. Bookmark and check often!

RSC (guest blogger) - You and I practice in faggotory every single day.

Ok good as, my name is RSC. A lot of you might wanna call me that some time. That is, Random Shit Cunt. I'll be posting here from time to time...a guest writer if you will, because I don't have the time to talk about Windsor Castle, Kylie Minogue sexy time kitsets, and nae fucking quiche recipies with the two assholes that run this site.

Assholes and faggotory. You should realise right now that you and I both practice in faggotory and assholism (wtf is assholism anyway. I don't know but my English teacher should get an honourary doctorate for assholism) every single day. For example - that guy you cut off this morning without looking back to see if he was there? He called you an asshole, or a faggot. And he was some fucking christian moron, he would've thought about calling you asshole, or faggot, and Jesus would've stopped them - fair enough. "I didn't do that RSC you shitcunt, I'm the most exemplar driver you will ever meet in your life." Bullshit. If I take a litre of petrol inside every single person's fuel tank down my entire street for every traffic felony they commit every single day, I could run my car without ever having to go to fill up.

[No one is a good driver, even if you are an Asian you are not a good driver.

Some months ago a friend of mine, a really stupid friend told me that "he does not carry the Asian driver gene". The next day, he crashed. He is a fucking asshole and we call him Kevin - Santana" Fucking friends article]

"But you're being a faggot right now?" - EXACTLY. You dumbass, if you are asking this question as you are skim reading this article, you need to learn to read more attentively. If you are asking this question as you are carefully reading this article - you need to learn to remember the topic. For those nitwits who don't remember - here it is again: YOU AND I PRACTICE IN FAGGOTORY EVERY SINGLE DAY. That means me as well. I'm paying my part to faggotory right now by writing this article, what more could you want.

Is it possible that some people can be more a faggot than others? Yes, perhaps. Here's two of ma' faves, just to give you a taste of "World Faggotory":

--

Sport Jock Faggots: Today I saw this guy, and he saw me, seemed like the sports jock fag type to me. All his friends were around him and he said hello to me. SO I said hello back. All his friends then cracked up. Great fucking achievement, dumbasses. But the great thing was I saw him again later and HE DID EXACTLY THE SAME THING in front of some other buddies. This time I had to stop. So I did, and I said "Hi man, nice to see you again, how was your weekend?" He was silent, the look on his face screamed to me that he was bewildered in my sudden adoption of assholism. I added the obligatory "YEAH BOIII" making the girl standing next to him laugh (probably at me but damn he must've felt totally awkward). What the fuck does this prove? Simple really, people who deliver faggotory and assholism on a regular basis cannot handle other people's faggotory and assholism. What a shame. Maybe I should've shared with him one of my quiche recipes but thats beside the point.

--

--

Journalists that have NO FUCKING CLUE: Bear with me for a second. The other day I was on www.stuff.co.nz - in my opinion this is one of the greatest news websites in New Zealand - less clunkier than YahooXtra, and less complicated than NZ Herald online.

Note that I have to add, having absolutely no clue at all, or generally having no clue definitely counts as faggotory. If you don't agree with that, fuck yourself. This next section deals with the utter need for people to GET A CLUE.

This is when I happened to have stumbled across "Reuben Schwarz's Cool Kit Blog." This is a gadget blog. I love them, needless to say theres some real gems posted on this blog, but this one: http://www.stuff.co.nz/blogs/coolkit/2007/07/16/most-hated-gadgets/ - really killed it for me. He reponds to an earlier article posted on Stuff about "Most hated gadgets" - a British survey which proves once again my point of the fact that the world practices in faggotroy. Because at position two of the very official (sounding), DailyMail, most hated gadgets....THE BALL MOUSE. Oh please, the ball mouse paved the way for the current Optical and Laser mouse technologies. So I don't know about you Britain, but I'm going to hail the ball mouse as revolutionary instead of slagging it off. And by the way, faggots, optical mice are now about the same price as buying KFC for two. So please oh fucking please - even though you are bound to practice in some faggotory every day, you can at least try to limit your faggotory output.

Anyway, why don't we find out why this guy has NO FUCKING CLUE. Except for his number one complaint, DRM....this list is textbook faggotory.

"1) Car alarms. Damn them. Damn them to hell. There, I said it. It’s noise pollution and I don’t think they actually make any car safer anymore because everyone just ignores them."

Okay, I'm sure I haven't heard a fucking car alarm in at least a month. Where do you live? Otar....actually no let's not talk about Auckland crime today. No, definitely not - that'll take a few years to recount so fuck it, more on that at a later stage. FYI most modern car alarms do actually come inbuilt and are bundled with IMMOBILIZERS. Get a clue.

"2) Predictive text on mobiles. I can’t count how many times people have asked me to turn off predictive text on their phone, and it seems like every mobile does it slightly differently. It’s damn irritating. Why do the mobile makers put this on by default? Does anyone out there actually use it?"

BZZZT NEGATIVE! When I got my Motorola V3x (a fine, researched purchase), predictive text was switched OFF by default. When my friend got his Nokia, predictive text was switched OFF by default. When my mother got HER Nokia, predictive text was switched OFF by default. When my friend got his iPhone...no I don't have any friends with an iPhone, because I don't happen to have shitcunt fanboys/girls for friends (even though I am one myself...but who can ignore life's guilty pleasures). Get a clue.

"3) Ringtones. That Nokia one (Do do do do, do do do do, do do do do doooo) gets under my skin like nails on a chalkboard, but it beats T-Pain or Christina Aguilera (or worse, Hilary Duff or the Crazy Frog) any day of the week."

Firstly, WHAT THE FUCK IS Do do do do, do do do do, do do do do doooo. For your information, it is "Jangalanglang Jangalanglang Jangalanglanglaaaaaaaaaaaang." Or for people who don't have polyphonic it is "Dee Dee Dee Dee, Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee, Dee Dee Dee Dee Deeeeeeeeeeee." - I never heard of "Do do do do" anywhere. And I hear this ringtone a lot. Ok so mister, "I hate ringtones" - you need to realise, that you are writing a tech blog. You probably have a lot of these tech gadgets. If you were to say you didn't have a fucking ringtone on your cellphone, I would expect you to either miss ALL of your calls, or you to enjoy vibrations. Or you don't understand self expression. If the person likes Hilary Duff or Crazy Frog, let them be. At least they're getting called. That means they have people that like them. Why aren't you getting called. Oh yea thats right - because you don't have a clue. Get a clue.

"4) Microsoft error messages. It’s real nice that my computer tells me what went wrong, but “Error 38756: Could not access widget file” doesn’t really help most people figure out why their computer won’t connect to the Internet today."

Well fuck me you're computer illiterate too. Where the hell did you land your job?

That's it. I quite enjoyed some of the comments...especially this one (it relates to the 4th item on the list, just so you know):

"Also note that most people know that Google exists these days and can copy+paste an error message into it and come up with the solution almost instantly - it’s something that we’ve been told to do for years now. What’s more, most error messages typed into Google lead you to a site on the Microsoft Knowledge Base (http://support.microsoft.com/), which is written in plain English and is a helpful resource for any Windows Error message one can encounter."

Thanks Michael Smith. You did your country a great service.

OH but wait a second. Paul Wilson agrees with the ol' predictive text statement:

"I agree with predictive text, every time I buy a new mobile it’s the very first thing I do - anybody who uses it shouldn’t have a piece of technology so sophisticated as a cell phone."

First off - the cellphone is a very simple piece of technology. Just like the radio is a very simple piece of technology. Note that we've also had typewriters for a very long time. You should've just gone on and said "People that can't spell shouldn't own a typewriter" - Heck it would've saved you a bit of time and you would've still ended up sounding like an asshat. Congratulations Paul Wilson. You've completed your round of faggotory for today.

That's all I gotta say about that. I hope you take this into heart and lower your daily faggotory/assholism output.

-RSC

Santana" - Would you and your friends happen to hate their father?

If you do not like this site or any of the articles posted, and would like to make a formal complaint, please type up a short message on this site

The weather wasn’t that great, me and another friend Tom was sitting outside his house having a smoke as his dad pulled up coming back from the local shooting range. He walks up to us and starts bragging about how much of an asshole he is, actually that’s what It seemed like, but he was actually trying to recount how he won the shooting competition out of 6 people. (me and Tom don’t really like him, Ill try explaining later in another entry but just picture this, a 50 year old man that has been sitting down to take a piss since he was born. That’s the impression he gives, and probably isn't far from the truth of the matter. I'd just also like to add that IF YOU ARE A GUY AND YOU SIT DOWN AND TO TAKE A PISS, YOU ARE ACUTALLY A GIRL YOUR MOTHER HAS LIED TO YOU AND SHOULD GET YOUR ENLARGED CLITORIS REMOVED)

Now let me get this clear, he wasn’t a finalist amongst 6, there were just 6 people participating in this tournament. And he won. The conversation went somewhat like this.

Dumbass "phew, that was awesome I just kicked ass in this shooting championship"

Me "oh yeah, how was it" (clearly not giving a shit about what he's saying)

Dumbass "it was awesome"

Me " okay….(long pause) did you win anything?"

Dumbass 'yeah look I won this awesome peanut slab"

I wasn’t sure that I had heard the right thing so I decided it was safer to reconfirm in case I had any hearing defects that I wasn't sure of.

Me " A what?"

Dumbass "a peanut slab, son"

I was right.

Tom (starting to laugh already) "you're an idiot are you sure you got the right prize?"

Dumbass(clearly not getting the message) " no its a peanut slab, here check it out"

Our friend dumbass over here whips out a full on chocolate bar infront of me and my friends eyes, we just couldn’t hold it in! I know it sounds terrible to you pussies out there, but I just fully cracked up in front of that bald fat man. Proudly pointing at him and watering my face with laughing tears.

Why don't you leave me a comment or send me an email if you think I'm an asshole. If not use this complaints site here

Santana" - THERE WAS AN INVASION! 2885 days ago

I have always hated Microsoft word. Want to know why?

Once upon a time(2885 days ago when I was 8 and a bit), I was firing up my PC to jot down random thoughts I had coming into my mind onto a shitty word processor by the name (can you guess?) “Microsoft Word”, and being not much of a programmer or a computer geek I did not realize any abnormalities in this foul software at first. By a glance of the eye everyone was fooled to think that this is just another buggy piece of shit program Microsoft released. For me this bugger always caused an error message and froze my computer. I hated computer freezes. Everything about them sucked. I would try moving my mouse around in frustrated strokes not seeing the actual cursor move. My only friend on Windows, Mr. task manager called “cntrl-alt-del” would never summon at these times, I knew better than to spam those 3 buttons in anger to try and get his attention. (Learning from previous lessons that the consequences for breaking the keyboard was quite severe in my household) I then quickly came to believe that every time he failed to summon he was fighting the ugly monster boss ‘Windows 98’ behind my monitor. (I still do now it’s just that the monster now is a higher level boss called ‘Windows XP’)

My computer has finally booted and I am now at my desktop with my cursor floating over the icon of the bewitched program.

10 seconds later: I was afraid. Trembling at the thought of the error message and still reluctant to executed word, I considered shutting down my computer and formatting my hard drive with a strong fridge magnet I had in my hand at the time.

30 seconds later: I scan around the room for note taking alternatives.

45 seconds later: Pen and paper spotted at the corner of room just out of my finger’s reach. Although office stationary rarely upset me and never talk back with stupid error messages, I am still not pleased at the idea of removing my ass from my chair.

1 minute later: I remember I had Norton Antivirus installed after consulting advice from a friend after the last crash. I was no longer afraid.

[Note: Hey come on, I was 8 or 9 back then how the fuck was I supposed to know that Norton Antivirus IS a virus???]

1 minute and some seconds later: Word started up.

I was naive and thought in simple logic like a little kid should. I thought Mr. Paperclip being the annoying asshole he is, should be detected as a virus and removed from my computer.

I was wrong. That mother fucker just popped right out at me. I was angry.

After issuing Mr. Paperclip with my “fuck off” command, I went back to work

But no matter how many times I told that asshole to fuck off, he never did. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT ASSHOLE WANT FROM ME.

Although just an ordinary seeming word processor I realized that underlying, it displayed hints of an ingenious scheme of world domination. . . . a world where Racism is encouraged, and where Mr. Paperclip rule as the supreme governor secretly controlled by his ingenious creator Sir Bill Gates and disease carrier Dame Microsoft Word. I understand that this information may be overwhelming to some people but behold fellas, this is what happens to anything that tries to go against me. Only I'm allowed to dominate the world.

Santana" - Vegan assholes suck my cucumber.

Solid dog turd sun dried and re-moisturized after boiling with manager's piss for 3 hours. (they call it vegan MEAT roll. . .what the fuck is a vegan MEAT roll. I'll let u guys decide whats wrong with that phrase)

Yeah that vegan IS shit.

Guess what, my bullshit alarm just went off and nearly busted my mum's ear. All thanks to this fucking website I saw just then. Its name? Can you guess? Yeah you're probably right it's called:

Yeah that vegan **** <-----------Loser Do you want to know why this site sucks? I nearly had a stroke when I first entered into such fine and thorough bullshit. My eyes could not understand why they had to look at such an obsolete website. They could not understand why I was doing this to them. They responded to me with a strong stinging pain, just to say "fuck you Santana". Reasons why this shit sucks: (please read on, I risked my eyes going blind and spent a god 5 mins of my life on that site, show some sympathy u animals)

1. The site was filled with pussy language like sh*t, f--k, f-ing. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? As if writing F-ING would be less offensive to someone as to FUCKING? I mean why say bull crap or bull sh*t instead of bullshit? Everyone knows what you're on about so just cut the pussy shit and write like a man you vegan asshole.
2. Underneath the blog title it had a stupid motto of "Vegan recipes that will make you
   scream with unbridled pleasure". Such exotic language on vegan bullshit cooked from avocado and horse piss. Not many people I know will " scream with unbridled pleasure" after eating a specific type of food. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT ALL TASTES LIKE SHIT! You vegan bastards are queer, creaming your pants over a plant.
3. Look at the dog shit they eat

Egg plant curry with egg plant skin

Maddox is right, you vegans out there really deserve to be shot. So from today onwards I am going to adopt a new system to fight this vegan bullshit. The policy is called "for every animal you dont eat, I will eat 3" proudly extracted from "the best page in the universe"

Nullify the vegetarian moral crusade:



"I rock sox, and vegans suck cox" - Santana"

Sangheili - YOU’RE UGLY

I was listening to some guys and some girl moaning about how they don’t have a partner or gf/bf some other days… they gone VERY far some even went to how the society decline and shit. Shut the hell up! It is fucking simple why you don’t have a girl friend or boy friend. YOU’RE UGLY. It is amazing how people can’t take this fact. Some fags go about how personality counts and shit, well that’s after you are at least acceptable looking to someone in the first place, if not the usual ‘fuck off please’ warning will be issued’

There is this dating doctor online who claims he can help anyone to find a date. Here some tips that will help you get every single date that you want.

1.Get a pretty face

2.Get a pretty face

3.Get a pretty face

4.Get a pretty face

5.Get a pretty face

Now ring up a plastic surgeon or go to hell.

Santana" - Who the fuck we are.

Two assholes meet the world.

I am Santana.
Webmaster's note: Fuck you if you don't like this site. What you can do? Yes you go eat some soggy condom.

I live in New Zealand. A little island which is, from as low as 700 Kms below sea level to as high as 700 above and everything within viewable distance from all costal areas, constructed from Earth’s finest bullshit. Long forgotten by everyone in this world with a life except from award winning director Peter Jackass (Peter Jackson is his name but I’m sure he was formerly Mr. Jackass) and his shitty Lord of The Rings trilogy. Bored as a fuck I decided to do something similar to Maddox after finding out and reading his ass-kicking site. But off course in a sense a little different, or I would be announced as a plagiarizer and sent to hell along with Tucker Max.

After writing for a bit i called up my friend for a chat and realized that HE was also doing the same thing. So here we are now writing a whole bowl of shit ready to be served to someone with the guts to read it.

For you winners out there that don’t know who the fuck Maddox is. You all blow ass-lube, I mean how the fuck do you not know such an awesome site that has millions of hits probably every day?

You guys are not even as popular or as “hip” as a 14 year old computer geek. Yes even they know about Maddox sucker. Learn to use Google or Wikipedia don’t ask stupid questions.

I’m not saying that just because a site has tons of views every day it gives them an automatic license not to be shit, but lets face it, how many shitty sites out there are getting millions of hits. His site is simplistic and will not only kick-your-ass but will also do it in 8 different flavors.

Lukewarm apple custard – wankers that want to or have already ordered an iphone

Curry and Vinegar – cripples that try to make (/scam) a living for some stupid accident they had

Sour milk with cheese cornflakes – people that have kids

Sour milk with cheese corn chips – loud, obnoxious, ignorant kids in general

Pickled Cherries – Suckers that like MTV

Diluted cordial – Pussies

Avocado orange pie - uber hax0rs that suck at computer games (AOL users in particular)

Shit - ORBITZ

"I rock sox and u suck cox" - Santana"