RSC - Fuck the Ocean

This fucking stinks.

So I'm sitting here, drinking my gin and tonic, watching that video. It almost made me choke on my lemon with laughter. And I looked at the beautiful bubbles, and the ice in my drink, and thanked the water treatment plants. I didn't thank the ocean, however.

You know what? It's just stinking shit (literally) like this, that proves we are dumbass shitcunts that have no clue. But you know what is the brunt of it all? Whales are from the Ocean. That big body of shit that covers roughly 70% of the Earth's surface. You fucking heard me - the earth is covered in 70% SHIT. 72% if you add in the Middle East. And if there's anyone reading this from the Middle East, please sort out your own fucking problems, or bomb me, because either way you're shit until you can be like Europe or something - that is, hating each other but no killing each other for years and years with no resolve. I mean COME ON, even the Armenian Genocide didn't last that long, and that's LONG FORGOT...I mean, OVER now. Seriously.

Getting back to the topic though, the ocean. It's deep, its totally the wrong colour (God was an absolute shitcunt who had no clue when it came to Hex codes), as it should be brown, for SHIT, it's undrinkable and there are these socialising places called beaches where old, disgusting fat people, or young, disgusting people made of silicon, like to spend their holidays underneath their umbrellas or having a dip. And I haven't even gotten to fucking surfers yet. Ok, fine, do you want to know what I think about surfers? You assholes that ride this wave that comes in for a while, and either bail off, or get back onto your board and wait for the next wave and you assholes that piss in your own wetsuits to say warm (haven't you realised that it's cold because you've been in the water for so fucking long waiting for that next wave?). CALIBUNGA, DUDES!

Ok then there's the animals that actually live inside the ocean. Like, what is this shit, jellyfish and squid and tentacles and other sick shit. What is this shit? And then there's fucking shipwrecks, and coral formations, it's like, the gayest parts of Disneyworld, but underwater, very salty, and with no Mickey Mouse.

The Cthulhu's gonna get you! But before he does, he's gonna have to choke in some salty shit, bump into some shipwrecks, and massacre a few fucking surfers.

Fuck the ocean.