WARNING:

May cause heart failure. 2,373 assholes reportedly died from cardiac arrest after reading this website.

You mad?

Eataloser is batshit crazy no matter how you look at it. In fact there is never a shortage of crazy on this website, and in all honestly its only purpose is really just to act as a fuel for my egoistical actions.

Bullshit rains down 25/7 in this place. Since I'm working overtime to ensure that people are offended, I expect you to at least appreciate my efforts and try to enjoy your stay.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

RSC (guest blogger) - Types of people in HIGHSCHOOL 3rd post

[Santana" - my mate RSC just dropped by to do the 3rd article of my infamous "Types of people in HIGHSCHOOL" article ]

Before I start this, I do want to share with you a song I wrote the other day, to be sung to the tune of "Parklife" by Blur. It relates nicely to Santana's Jock article:

Confidence is a preference for the grouped together idiots collectively known as (jocklife!)
These idiots can be avoided if you take a route straight through the rugby field and avoid all the…(jocklife!)
Johns got most valuable player, he likes the old towel fight, and his team love a bit of it (jocklife!)
Who’s that in the middle? Mate you should cut down on your ego - get a reality check! (jocklife!)

Chorus:
All the people
So many people
And they all go hands on ass
Hands on ass in the scrum.......jocklife

Know what I mean?

I get up when I want, except on wednesdays, when I get rudely wakened by the dustmen. (jocklife!)
I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea, and I think about getting some groceries (jocklife!)
Sometimes I need someone to help me pack my groceries away
It gives me a sense of enormous well-being. (jocklife!)
And then Im happy for the rest of the day,
Safe in the knowledge there will always be a that idiot who played fullback in highschool there at the store, waiting for me to return.

Chorus

Jocklife - jocklife!
Jocklife - jocklife!
Its got nothing to do with your scrum technique, tries and lineouts you know
Jocklife - jocklife!
And its not about you sluts either who get passed round and round and round...
(kinda like the rugby ball really)
Jocklife - jocklife!


Actually, the old jocks thing ties in with the bunch of pompous nitwits that we can class as "THE RICH."

It's probably as ambiguous as being an executive producer of a hollywood film, but being rich isn't uncommon. However I think what Santana is trying to get at is the fact that some of these bastards love to show it, and the reflects on their attitude.

Most of the jocks are rich, I've been to their houses. They have nice places, nice cars, nice sisters (FUCK!), but somehow it makes me wonder, all these imbeciles are going to be brain damaged by the time they come out of school but why will it matter? A simple inheritance of their dad's plastics factory solves it all in the end.

I don't think they're that bad, really - I'm sure that they're gonna have, nice lives, a nice family, with nice kids, and they're gonna send those kids to nice schools. Whilst I fly overhead in my Learjet, of course, but hey, if this does ever happen, I'll have the confidence in knowing that it's all self made.

The thing about the rich is that their parents are probably living off fortunes or investments passed down as well. And you wonder why this shitty excuse for a country doesn't have a technology company. That's because apart from Auckland, everyone else is a livestock farmer, or a wine maker. Good sources of income, sure, nice to pass on to your kids, definitely, but for fucks sake new crop rotation methods, cattle in-breeding and rural broadband is not going to advance this country, whatever way you look at it.

Hmm...apart from driving this country into the Dark Ages...what other things do I hate about them...hmmm...

- Have you noticed that most of the sluts come from the rich? And have you noticed that if they don't wear excessive makeup, they might as well be on par with Lindsey Lohan's police photograph.

- Have you noticed that most of their social networking sites feature terrible spelling and profile photos of them getting completely boozed off their heads? I mean heck, I enjoy a gin and tonic now and then but seriously, firstly you are playing rugby, or having intense dry lesbian humping on camera, and now you are damaging your brains even more because of the continuous boozing every weekend? I swear, your parents are paying for you to be an imbecile for the rest of your life. - Oh well, in the back of your mind, you've got that family inheritance. Excellent.

- Have you realised that even though you may be wealthy, you will still be considered on mediocre to most people living OUTSIDE of this country? You do realise your fortune is nothing compared to ANYTHING overseas. And people still view New Zealanders as barbarians. It's true. Go to Las Vegas and ask any drunk bastard there where New Zealand is, and they will hook you in the face.

- You're all really fucking satisfied with yourselves.

- The current government hates you.

- Winston Peters is the king of Faggotory.

Fact is this people. This area is full of pompous rich bastards. New Zealand is also the only country in the world where the PSP outsells the Nintendo DS. Get the fucking picutre?





NB: I am pretty well off myself. However I dare you to contest me on any of the points that I've made through this blog today. My email address is for any hatemail you might wanna send is animal.porn@gmail.com - no joke.

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