Santana" - Mosquitoes & Malaria, M&M’s

So here I am using a laptop to type up this post. I hate laptop keyboards, what the fuck is with them anyway. I seem to have hit the backspace key more than the amount of words that I typed. Annoying, really annoying. They are insensitive and uncomfortably placed, its just so dumb. If they could spend all that money on researching thin LCD monitors and shitty touch pads, WHY THE FUCK CAN’T THEY MAKE A BETTER KEYBOARD.

I hate mosquitoes, they are really lame. What the fuck do those assholes want, I don’t mind letting you suck some of my blood, I don’t even mind having malaria. I’m sure most people wouldn’t mind losing a couple millilitres of blood, you want it? Sure, take it. But why the fuck do you have to give me a HUGE fucking RED AND ITCHY LUMP! Are you an asshole or what.

I was studying malaria the in biology class the other day, to be honest I don’t really think malaria is that bad. For the poor people that couldn’t afford antibiotics to cure it? Yeah, I mean that sucks for them, I really do feel sympathetic for those people. Honest, no sarcasm. I just think it would feel pretty shit if you died from malaria. Just the sheer fact that you got FUCKED OVER by a mosquito pretty much sucks more donkey cock. I would feel totally raped if I died from malaria -

- anybody else that could afford malaria treatment and died from malaria probably would feel the same way too. Not only did some son of a bitch steal your blood and give a an itchy lump, it also gave you a pussy ass CURABLE disease and you subsequently died from it. That’s got to fucking suck so hard, it’s not like you get raped once and the rapists kills you, but the rapist actually rips you off by sealing your wallet and then raping your TWICE before he leaves you alone for the STD to kill you. Holy shit.

Lets just say some dumbass you know died from malaria, here is why you shouldn’t feel sorry for him although it seems like such a shitty way to die. (just assume it’s a guy for now, I don’t like typing the he/she bullshit, fuck being politically correct)

This is a very probable scenario of how this dumbass managed to die from malaria. This starts off right after this idiot realizes that he got bitten:

“Oh shit! I just got bitten. I’m in a country where malaria is a known issue, I know its a life threatening disease if it’s not treated. But I think I’ll just leave it, because I’m sure its just a harmless bite”

A few days later, the bite has gone away no more itching and swelling. But he starts to feel a cold settling in.

“Fuck I’ve got a sore throat and I think I have a fever coming down. I think I’ll just take some Panadol and rest up.”

This dumbass takes the Panadol and reassures himself that it’s only a cold while he sulks about not being able to stare into the wildlife and watch birds shit on each other. That faggot probably doesn’t know what the discovery channel is.

A few days later; he got fucked.

1. He is an A+ dumbass for not going to see a doctor after he got sick from a mozzie bite.

2. Slap that faggot in the face, he was in a 3^rd world country where malaria is a known problem. You shouldn’t be anywhere near 3^rd world countries unless you are a voluntary helper.

3. Slap that faggot in the face again, because he went to Africa for a holiday. Who the fuck would like to spend their holidays with 500 miles of desert and poverty. Not to mention the animals, the animals’ shit, and the stupid mosquitoes that killed him. Don’t you think you are an asshole when so many people from the 3^rd world country want to get out, and ironically you are going there for a “holiday”? How would the little bloated African boys from World Vision feel if they saw you. Its like saying “I wanna go to hell” in front of Bush when you are in heaven, fuck off asshole. Although saying it to Bush may be acceptable, depending on Jesus’ mood at the time I assume.

4. He’s just a faggot because he fucked your girlfriend.

5. Clearly he is wrong about it being a cold. Most people that experience malaria symptoms think that it’s a cold, and these are the assholes that normally die.

The guy that died from malaria probably didn’t know what killed him too. So next time you get told how another dumbass died from malaria, laugh. Laugh at the person that died, and also laugh at the person that told you if he showed any signs of pity. (Laugh really loud too, point at them for extra dramatic effect)

I personally think that malaria is shit. But what sucks even more are MOSQUITOES. They are ugly ass faggots too.